Joint Domicile, Divorce/ Separated, w/children Overseas? (Answers: 1) (Comments: 0)
My husband had filed papers for command sponsorship and it looks promising. However, recently I decided that after 17 years of marriage I could not spend another 20-30+ years in a marriage where I was the only one invested and trying to have a relationship. I wasn't asking for a divorce just a change. Well, he assumed I was asking to be separated and I discovered he really doesn't want to be married anymore and has felt this way for several years (explains why I felt alone for so long). Anywho, I'm now looking to return to Active Duty so I can support myself and my kids (3 teen boys 16, 14, 1& 12). One of my boys (14yrs old) is Special Needs but has never been enrolled in EFMP. We are planning to sign up for the MACP and JD so we can both be near our boys for their last few years of childhood. Right now we are not legally separated nor processing divorce but he is very determined to end our marriage, although the current plan is to wait till our return from our Korea assignments to process paperwork. What we found & hope to be true was to be disenrolled from the JD program a request needs to be submitted by either party OR we will continually be considered for JD assignments. The latter is what we want and are hoping for (at least until our 12 1/2 yr old is almost out the door. I'm wondering if I file for divorce before I leave the states but do not disenroll from the MACP & JD what effect that can have? Because my moral standads dictate a wrongness in dating while married (separated is still married); I want to set a good example for my boys. It seems torturous though to me to be in Korea for 2 years in a dead marriage but unable to move on with my life and start dating (when I am ready - even though it may take a while). Any advice or concerns about ANYTHING I've said? Currently I'm only seeing a recruiter and looking into returning to the service. Before this whole separation thing and going back AD came up we had started the process of CS. I still haven't decided if I want to go back into the service yet. The main thing is doing what's best for the kids and having them in a place where they can have both mom and dad available is priority for me. If need be I can return to AD after Korea.

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Was this a good move? (Answers: 15) (Comments: 0)
My husband decided to take a break from our marriage and moved away from the house. I was not allowed to say anything because he saw all of my efforts to problem solve as being controlling and would tell me the result was I was pushing him away and that if I had left him alone we would already be back together. He would ask me out for pizza then drop me off as if we were dating and send chatty e-mails but nothing about coming home. A couple days ago, I gave him a deadline and told him I am considering dating as an alternative to divorce, if he doesn't come home by the deadline. I said both dating while married and divorce are against my values but divorce is much more expensive and he needs to make a decision because I am tired of waiting for him to decide to start being a husband and time is running out. Since then, I have not said anything else to him. A check came in the mail for him today, and instead of taking it to him,I put it in an envelope and mailed it to him. Was it a good move to tell him I am considering dating if he doesn't come back and reinforcing I am serious by sending the check by mail rather than taking it to him? Why or why not? CASSIUS: I am a brighter crayon than most, but I just love how you think wanting my husband to respect me means I don't care about him. That's a cute baby picture. You must be married. I wonder how you would feel if your wife moved out because she wasn't sure she could deal with the responsibilities of marriage or child rearing and anything you did to convince her things would be ok was seen as controlling. I am sure you wouldn't care if your wife was disrespecting you because you care about her so much,huh?

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Joint Domicile, Divorce/ Separated, w/children Overseas? (Answers: 1) (Comments: 0)
My husband had filed papers for command sponsorship and it looks promising. However, recently I decided that after 17 years of marriage I could not spend another 20-30+ years in a marriage where I was the only one invested and trying to have a relationship. I wasn't asking for a divorce just a change. Well, he assumed I was asking to be separated and I discovered he really doesn't want to be married anymore and has felt this way for several years (explains why I felt alone for so long). Any-who, I'm now looking to return to Active Duty so I can support myself and my kids (3 teen boys 16, 14, 1& 12). One of my boys (14yrs old) is Special Needs but has never been enrolled in EFMP. We are planning to sign up for the MACP and JD so we can both be near our boys for their last few years of childhood. Right now we are not legally separated nor processing divorce but he is very determined to end our marriage, although the current plan is to wait till our return from our Korea assignments to process paperwork. What we found & hope to be true was to be disenrolled from the JD program a request needs to be submitted by either party OR we will continually be considered for JD assignments. The latter is what we want and are hoping for (at least until our 12 1/2 yr old is almost out the door. I'm wondering if I file for divorce before I leave the states but do not disenroll from the MACP & JD what effect that can have? Because my moral standads dictate a wrongness in dating while married (separated is still married); I want to set a good example for my boys. It seems torturous though to me to be in Korea for 2 years in a dead marriage but unable to move on with my life and start dating (when I am ready - even though it may take a while). Just so everyone knows, I have no intentions on dating (it is something my husband brought up & I decided to include it). Everything I am doing from going back on Active Duty & establishing a career since I've been home with my kids for MANY years, processing MACP & JD, and requesting assignment overseas is for my kids, so they will be offered an opportunity to have a relationship with their father who has already been in Korea 2 years so far. Fortunately, my husband is very honorable and we are working very well together on this process, we actually are finally communicating. We have never had an angry or fighting relationship, we just didn't talk. The boys are the main topic of our discussion and we agree on almost everything in regards to them. At this point the boys do not know, my husband wishes for us to be together as a family in Korea before we share with them we are getting separated (I'm going along with it since I honestly don't know what, when & how is best to tell them)

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